Talking Comic Strips - Page 25

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268 Results for Talking

View 241 - 250 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Would It Look The Same

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Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, smart

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Attending A Funeral

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Attending A Funeral - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, time off, funeral, sick, unsympathetic

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carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, prototype, resources, software, program, miscommunication, frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

Flag Me When You Are Done

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Flag Me When You Are Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office work, flag, burden, rude, business

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dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, risk, assessment, mock, teamwork, acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.

Self Actualization

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Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized

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dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Diet Preferences

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Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conference room, office workers, chitchat, bore, diet, preferences

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dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Dilbert Hates Safety

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Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, safety, anger, yelling, statistics, flaw, authority, health

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dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Scooch Over

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Scooch Over - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business people, destiny, no, people, ruler, sarcasm, superpower

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dilbert talking to dogbert on couch dilbert: i've been saying "no" to people all week, and nothing bad happened to me. why did i never know about this superpower? now i am the ruler of my own destiny! scooch over. dogbert: no.