Valuable Advice Comic Strips - Page 25

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256 Results for Valuable Advice

View 241 - 250 results for valuable advice comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Teaches Success

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Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, luck, money, winning, mentor, Advice

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Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Lying To Weasels

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Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sayings, Advice, honesty, truthfulness

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Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

What Classes To Be An Engineer

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What Classes To Be An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, insult, Advice, logic, engineer, engineering

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Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Never Give Reasons

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Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, debates, internet, Opinion, social media, idiot

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Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.

Links To Articles

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Links To Articles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, internet, Opinion, research

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Dogbert the internet debate coach Dogbert: Always back up your opinion with links to articles. Asok: What if the only links I can find are from non-credible sources? Dogbert: I'll do some research. But I think that's the only kind there is.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, employees, irritation, office workers, sarcasm, experience, arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

The Inexperienced Employee.

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The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, criticism, employees, insults, office workers

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Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.

The Consultant

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The Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, business, criticism, managers & supervisors, judgement

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Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?

Try Hiding

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Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, compliment, criticism, ego, employees, managers & supervisors

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Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?