Violating Personal Space Comic Strips - Page 25
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273 Results for Violating Personal Space
View 241 - 250 results for violating personal space comic strips. Discover the best "Violating Personal Space" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 16,
2015
Tags #personality, #type, #introvert, #dominant, #submissive, #interpersonal, #relationship, #coworkers, #conflict, #argument, #competent, #magic, #psychology
Transcript
Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.
Tuesday September 15,
2015
Dilbert's Project Is Late
Tags #raise, #wages, #money, #salary, #catch-22, #anger, #frustration, #labor, #review
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.
Friday October 16,
2015
Dilbert Aligns His Goals
Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
Tuesday January 26,
2016
Meetings Are Dense
Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
Monday August 08,
2016
Boss Gets A Nickname
Tags #scientist, #nickname, #obliviousness, #stephen hawking, #black holes, #space, #science
Transcript
Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.
Saturday August 13,
2016
Wally And The Lactation Room
Tags #man cave, #coffee, #trick, #lactation room
Transcript
Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?
Monday December 26,
2016
Volunteers For Mars Trip
Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical
Transcript
Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.
Wednesday December 28,
2016
Picking The Spaceship Staff
Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical
Transcript
CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.