Company Comic Strips - Page 26
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882 Results for Company
View 251 - 260 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 01,
2012
Tags big business, business ethics, executive program, relocate, vindictive, stress, loser, turn down opportunity, train, discomfort, underlings
Transcript
Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday February 08,
2012
Tags low margin lines, high risk, start up, lumbering inefficiencies, buy in
Transcript
Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?
Thursday February 09,
2012
Tags benefits, boss, employee, huge equity poistion, questing, start up, wear whatever, work at home
Transcript
Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.
Saturday February 18,
2012
Tags gadgets, sales personnel, tablet computer, prototype, indestuctable, crash
Transcript
CEO: Our tablet computer is indestructible. Watch this... Man: Our company is next. Find the prototype. CEO: Oops. Was that yours?
Saturday March 17,
2012
Tags civil liberties, internet & world wide web, internet law, bad for business, press relase, impinge, freedom of speech, selfish liars
Transcript
Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!
Saturday April 14,
2012
Tags promote, from within, downside, smaller pool, candidates, competitors, ruination
Transcript
Boss: I like to promote from within. The only downside is that picking from a smaller pool of candidates will make us less capable than our competitors and lead the company to ruination. Do you want that? Dilbert: I see what you're doing.
Friday April 20,
2012
Tags business ethics, competitors network, elbonians, bribe blogger, limited capacity, self control, bury in woods
Transcript
Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.
Sunday May 27,
2012
Tags money, budget, last year objectives, huge loss, bottomline, punish siuccess, startegy, management
Transcript
Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?
Wednesday May 23,
2012
Tags dolls, dummy, treat customers, metaphor, stunned, employees shicked, boss demonstrates
Transcript
Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.
Saturday June 16,
2012
Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia
Transcript
Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia

