Company Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Company

View 251 - 260 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, executive program, relocate, vindictive, stress, loser, turn down opportunity, train, discomfort, underlings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low margin lines, high risk, start up, lumbering inefficiencies, buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benefits, boss, employee, huge equity poistion, questing, start up, wear whatever, work at home

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, sales personnel, tablet computer, prototype, indestuctable, crash

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our tablet computer is indestructible. Watch this... Man: Our company is next. Find the prototype. CEO: Oops. Was that yours?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags civil liberties, internet & world wide web, internet law, bad for business, press relase, impinge, freedom of speech, selfish liars

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags promote, from within, downside, smaller pool, candidates, competitors, ruination

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I like to promote from within. The only downside is that picking from a smaller pool of candidates will make us less capable than our competitors and lead the company to ruination. Do you want that? Dilbert: I see what you're doing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, competitors network, elbonians, bribe blogger, limited capacity, self control, bury in woods

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, budget, last year objectives, huge loss, bottomline, punish siuccess, startegy, management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dolls, dummy, treat customers, metaphor, stunned, employees shicked, boss demonstrates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia