Employees Comic Strips - Page 26

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581 Results for Employees

View 251 - 260 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, email messages, melrose place, monkey love, strategic edits, total access, network administrator

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and thinks, "I have total access to every employee's e-mail messages." Dogbert thinks, "With a few strategic edits I will transform the office into 'Melrose Place.'" Wally says to Alice, "Yes, Alice . . . I WILL be your 'monkey of love.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags netwrok administartor, take down network, keystroke, being doctor, goofy stuff, paws

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Dogbert stands on a chair with his paw poised over the keyboard. Dogbert thinks, "As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke." Dogbert presses a key and the employees all scream. Dogbert thinks, "It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags abandon startegy, making good products, ours strategy mergers, business spin offs, random reorgozations, accelerate, stock price, fruitless partnerships

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The Boss reads a document and tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "The company announced that we will 'abandon our strategy of making good products . . .'" The Boss continues, "From now on we'll 'pursue a desperate strategy of mergers, business spin-offs, fruitless partnerships and random reorganizations.'" The Boss reads, "And we'll accelerate our program of paying the good employees to leave." Dilbert asks Wally, "Stock price?" Wally looks at his monitor and replies, "Up three points."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags effective raise, evil, mr catbert, moving, slow motion

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Wally asks Catbert, "When will my raise be effective?" Catbert replies, "The same time you are." The caption says, "The evil Mr. Catbert, Director of H.R., is feeling 'in the zone.'" Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "It's as if all the employees are moving in slow motion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hotel, tip door man, bell hop, hotel zombies, bag losing, reservation

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Dilbert sits in a taxi cab holding his suitcase. A doorman opens the door and says, "Welcome to the hotel, allow me to touch your bag so you'll feel obligated to tip me." Dilbert hugs his bag and walks past three bellmen. He thinks, "I've got to make it through the gauntlet of bag-losing hotel zombies." The hotel employees think about money as they reach for his bag. Dilbert stands at the counter and says to a woman, "No room?!! I have a reservation!!" The clerk replies, "Oh, that's original." A bellhop reaches for Dilbert's luggage.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags policies, use prodcuts, will to live, new corporate policy, not intended to punish

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Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee survey, tabulated, under paid, management is incompetent, bizarre, unworldly response, travel alarm clock, company logo

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Alice, the Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The results of the employee survey have been tabulated." The Boss continues, "As always, employees say they are underpaid, blah, blah, blah, and management is incompetent." Alice asks, "And your bizarre, unworldly response will be?" The Boss replies, "Everyone gets a travel alarm clock with the company logo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, coincidence, fallen under spell, morons, must, pay inexperienced strangers

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Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags profits down, morale down, anti management cartoons, hang cubicle walls, mission statement

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The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Profits are down. Morale is low. What is the root problem?" The Boss thinks, "It's got to be those anti-management cartoons the employees hang on their cubicle walls!" The Boss looks at the comic strips hanging on Wally's cubicle. The Boss says, "And they aren't even funny." Wally points to a strip and says, "This one has our mission statement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reduce expenses, essentail jobs, business cards, borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."