Filing System Comic Strips - Page 26
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264 Results for Filing System
View 251 - 260 results for filing system comic strips. Discover the best "Filing System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 12,
2018
Purchasing Did Not Order Part
Tags delays, excuses, laziness, work ethic, scapegoat, deadline, delay
Transcript
Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.
Wednesday September 05,
2018
Candor Monster
Friday February 22,
2019
Darkest Before The Dawn
Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?
Monday July 22,
2019
Half Are Doing All The Work
Tags business, employees, employment, fire, work
Transcript
boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.
Sunday September 15,
2019
Wally Wears Headphones
Tags employees, irritation, office workers, avoidance, hear, headphones
Transcript
Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.
Thursday January 02,
2020
Inefficiency
Tags managers & supervisors, inefficient, process, obsolete, market, technology, multidisciplinary, systems, fight, fire
Transcript
alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.
Sunday March 08,
2020
Elbonian Consultant
Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.
Thursday March 05,
2020
Wally Prefers Systems
Tags managers & supervisors, business, office workers, goals, question, answer, system, year
Transcript
dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.
Monday March 09,
2020
Dogbert In The Cloud
Tags business, managers & supervisors, personal, information, cloud, safe, worry, trust, manage, system, browser, history
Transcript
boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.