Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 26
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433 Results for Long Nose
View 251 - 260 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 21,
2003
Tags power to become invisible, sit home, get paid, Wally, boss, hiding
Transcript
Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday May 27,
2003
Tags unpaid vacation, managers approval, downsize work, over staffed, hug slef, selfishness, corporate greed, nasty corporate men
Transcript
Catbert and The Boss are meeting. Catbert says, "Let's offer employees unpaid vacation time, as long as their managers approve it." Catbert continues, "Then we'll downsize any work group that uses it, because it proves they're over-staffed." Catbert hugs himself and says, "Excuse me while I hug myself and purr." The Boss replies, "Take your time."
Friday October 10,
2003
Tags finalized busdget, budget for last year, sounds annual
Transcript
Man: "At long last, I finalized the budget." Dilbert: "This is the budget for last year." Man: "Stop making it sound annual."
Thursday March 25,
2004
Tags career day, questions, careers, connected dots, generational
Transcript
Career Day The Boss: ...and thats why you should have a pre meeting before every meeting. any questions? Girl: how long will my generation need to work? The Boss: Sixty years. I see that you've connected the dots.
Saturday April 17,
2004
Tags sales drop, invent something, everyone wants, visionary leadership, demands of boss, unreasonable demands on staff, money making, shortfalls
Transcript
The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.
Tuesday June 29,
2004
Thursday July 08,
2004
Tags more time, no shaving, all forms of hygiene, unwashed telecommunting, clown shoes, long toe nails
Transcript
"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."
Thursday July 26,
2012
Tags database analyst, tech writer, database anaylst, ignorance with certainty
Transcript
Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.
Wednesday September 22,
2004
Tags dental evidence, hired manager, the hotline, ethics questions, ethics manager
Transcript
The Boss: "The company has hired an manager." "If you have any ethics questions, call the hotline." Dogbert: "That's fine, as long as you get rid of the dental evidence."
Sunday April 25,
1999
Tags managing by analogies, dogbert presents, distribution problem, eskimos, gather ice, lean summer months, eat penguins, hibachi, ban for life
Transcript
Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"


