Second Guess Comic Strips - Page 26

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308 Results for Second Guess

View 251 - 260 results for second guess comic strips. Discover the best "Second Guess" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #viral video, #awkward, #interaction, #insult, #cell phone, #technology

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Boss: Did you see the viral video of the kitten riding the zebra? Dilbert: I know where this is heading and I don't like it. You're going to spend the next ten minutes looking for that video on your phone while we wait. Boss: It will only take a second. Dilbert: And so it begins. Boss: Here it is. No, wait. Dang. Wrong one. Okay, here it is. Oops, no, wrong one. Narrator: Ten minutes later. Boss: What do you think? Dilbert: I can't see it because you keep moving. Boss: I would let you hold it, but I don't want your germs on my phone. Dilbert: There are a lot of unsatisfying parts to this interaction. Wally: Now my coffee is cold.

Wally Waits For People

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Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

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Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

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Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.

Hire Agile Programmers

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Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

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Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Blame Rolls Downhill

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Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

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Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Talking About The Last Job

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Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personality, #comparing, #employees, #dumb, #business, #psychology

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Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Keeping The Boss Away

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Keeping The Boss Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #interference, #huddle, #scrum

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Boss: What time is the team huddle? Dilbert: I can't tell you. As the team scrum, it is my job to keep you from interfering. Boss: Then I guess we're both doing what we're supposed to do. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #cubicle, #conference room, #office, #sharing, #obstinacy

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Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

You Will Get Used To It

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You Will Get Used To It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #Politics, #disagreement, #Opinion, #flaw, #personality, #psychology

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Boss: I can't assign you to a project team because everyone hates you for your political opinions. Wally: And they don't hate me for being useless in general? Boss: I guess we all got used to that. Wally: You'll get used to the other thing, too. Give it some time.