Time Comic Strips - Page 26

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View 251 - 260 results for time comic strips. Discover the best "Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Attend A Meeting In My Place

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Attend A Meeting In My Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, frivolous, stand-in, time management, business

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Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time machine, time travel, experiment, algorithm, planning, mistake, error, science

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Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

Troll Has No Job

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Troll Has No Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology

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Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money

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The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Haircut On Company Times

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Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, haircut, time, break

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Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Radical Candor

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Radical Candor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, management, radical condor, time, computer

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The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.

Dogbert The Meeting Referee

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Dogbert The Meeting Referee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, story, time-wasting, red card, Wally, refree

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Dogbert, the meeting referee. The Boss: That reminds me of a story. Dogbert: Tweet! Fifteen-yard penalty for a time-wasting story! The Boss: I''ll make it quick. Dogbert: Red card!

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, waste, time, thought, chairs, meeting

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The Boss: We need to have a bias for action! Alice: Good idea. This meeting is a total waste of time. The Boss: I probably should have thought that through.

Old Time Chair

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Old Time Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, chair, office, office workers, ergonomics

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office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.