Business People Comic Strips - Page 26

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, Dilbert, desk, computer, programming

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Ratbert and Dogbert sit on the desk. Dogbert says, "Don't feel bad because you're awkward, Ratbert." Dogbert continues, "There are people leading happy lives who are not only awkward but they're also homely and dull!" Ratbert asks, "Do I have to learn any computer skills?" Dogbert replies, "It seems like a requirement, but it's not." Dilbert says, "Hey!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags karoshi, Wally, Dilbert, the boss, business meeting, japanese, worklife balance

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The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comedy, Dogbert, Dilbert, ratbert, voting, rat

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The caption says, "Ratbert's fate depends on the kindness of readers who are voting by electronic mail." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up newspaper. Dogbert stands on the desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert says, "Don't worry, Ratbert. You won't get whacked unless people think senseless cruelty is somehow 'funny.'" Dogbert says, "Although I admit it would have a certain visual appeal." Ratbert yells, "You're not helping!!" The caption says, "Conclusion Nov. 29."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, email, the president, Politics

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "It says the president can now receive electronic mail." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dogbert stands on the desk chair and types, "Dear Mr. President, I would like to make a few suggestions on how to run the country." Dogbert types, "As you know, the citizens are mostly imbeciles." Dogbert types, "You should give an executive order for all people to march into the sea." Dogbert types, "Then, the few of us who are smart enough to ignore you can divide up their stuff." Dogbert types, "This may seem slightly immoral, but it's better than having a bunch of unwanted people clogging up the country." Dogbert pauses. Dogbert types, "And we won't have to hear your brother sing anymore. Sincerely, Ross Perot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, chair, seminar

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "I made it through the fire-walking seminar uninjured by wearing asbestos lined socks." Dilbert continues, "People always laughed because I lined my undergarments with asbestos - but who's laughing NOW?" Dogbert asks, "Have you always feared your butt would catch on fire?" Dilbert replies, "It's not the kind of thing you leave to chance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, business meeting, performance review

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?" Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews." Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm." Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality." Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!" Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!" Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!" Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!" The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?" Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags garbageman, Dogbert, morals, phaser

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Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Dilbert won't build a phaser pistol for me. He thinks it's wrong to zap people for fun." The garbage man replies, "Yeah, that would be wrong . . . Unless the people you zap are themselves immoral, in which case you would be on the side of justice." Dogbert says, "I guess it's academic since I don't have a phaser." The garbage man says, "Here, borrow mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob, Dilbert, ratbert, email, computer, Dogbert, wedgie

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, mentoring, matt, business meeting, assignments, work

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Dilbert, Matt and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert tells Matt, "This is called a 'meeting.'" Dilbert explains, "The objective is twofold: talk as much as possible and leave with no new assignments." Dilbert and Matt leave the meeting. Matt carries a stack of folders. Dilbert pats him on the back and says, "That's okay . . . I thought your talking went very well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, business meeting, fitness, money

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Mister Dogbert. You submitted the lowest bid for creating our corporate fitness program." The Boss continues, "The other bidders wanted money. You're the only one who offered to do it just for the laughs." The Boss continues, "Although I don't see what's so funny about it." Dogbert replies, "Engineers . . . Aerobics . . . Think about it."