Evil Grin Comic Strips - Page 26

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282 Results for Evil Grin

View 251 - 260 results for evil grin comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Grin" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banning telecommuting, #cruelty, #evil corporations, #executives, #maternity leave, #new policy, #pay package

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Boss: Employees are in a furor over our new policy and banning telecommuting. CEO: Really? You mean we found a way to make them stop obsessing over my pay package? Try canceling all maternity leave and see if it makes them stop talking about telecommuting.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #new business, #professional liar, #albis, #job refernces, #annual reports, #born evil

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new business as a professional liar. I'll provide alibis, job references, annual reports, and that sort of thing. Dilbert; Were you born evil? Dogbert: It feels as if someone else had a hand in it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #mad scientists, #marketing dept, #mice, #one evil genius, #pathways, #rewire, #ontogenetic technology

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Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #stress, #vacations, #unlimited vacation days, #torpedo career, #source of stress, #set up, #manipulate

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

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CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #joking, #practical jokes, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #honor, #practical joke, #evil genius, #cleverly, #concealed, #true identity, #sit on rocks

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Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy things, #deception, #evil, #evil tool, #images, #lab notes, #marketing, #obliviousness, #presentation, #screen, #unique sequence, #business

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Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #dishonest, #dishonesty, #honest, #honesty, #lying, #reverse psychology, #trick, #trickery, #noteworthy, #hide evil, #verbal assault, #easiest lie, #set up

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Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

Emotionally Manipulative Robot

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Emotionally Manipulative Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil, #manipulation, #manipulative, #manipulative behavior, #robot, #technology gone bad, #upgrade, #killing machine

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The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: People who are not losers buy memory upgrades for their robots. Only upgrade me if it's what you want. But if you don't, there's a very good chance I'll turn into a killing machine. Man: I guess I'll upgrade. Robot: I'm okay either way. It's totally up to you.