Hate Comic Strips - Page 26
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264 Results for Hate
View 251 - 260 results for hate comic strips. Discover the best "Hate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 14,
2020
Angry Tech Writers
Tags anger, business, exercise, technology, writing, tech writer, underpaid, coffee, hate
Transcript
dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 25,
2020
Protestors Destroy Our Stores
Tags protest movements, protestors, retail, stores, destroy, hate, cause, donate, context
Transcript
dilbert: all of our retail locations were destroyed by protesters last night. why do they hate us? dilbert: they don't hate us. we donate to their cause. dilbert: am i missing some context? boss: you should see what they do to the people they don't like.
Sunday December 13,
2020
Assigning Dilbert To Project
Tags business, technology, network, redesign, project, phase, positive, optimistic, assign, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.
Wednesday January 27,
2021
Doing Nothing Is A Decision
Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.
Tuesday February 02,
2021
General Incompetence
Tags business, technology, project, success, expectations, destroy, incompetent, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.
Monday March 01,
2021
Dilbert Needs Alone Time
Tags alone time, dark, despair, emotions, hate, lonely, mental health, offend, personal, time
Transcript
dilbert at home. dilbert: it's not personal, but sometimes i just need alone time. dogbert: how could i possibly be offended by your preference for the dark despair of loneliness over spending time with me? dilbert putting on headphones: i won't be lonely. dogbert: i hate you too!
Tuesday March 02,
2021
Talking To Wally
Tags mental health, office workers, health, alone time, listen, crazy, hate, talking, fake, empathy, business, coffee
Transcript
dilbert: dogbert doesn't believe me when i tell him i need more alone time for my mental health. wally: why would he listen to you when you're obviously crazy? dilbert: i hate talking to you. wally: should i fake more empathy.
Sunday March 28,
2021
Wally's Advice
Tags Advice, audience, business, complain, connection, droopy, emotion, emotional intelligence, Entertainment, hate, medical, persuasive, problems, sad, sarcasm, self-deprecating, slide deck, spouse, technology, tragic, wife
Transcript
boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.
Wednesday March 31,
2021
Dogbert Is Selective
Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom
Transcript
title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.
Sunday April 18,
2021
Online Therapy
Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal
Transcript
dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

