Pay Comic Strips - Page 26
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326 Results for Pay
View 251 - 260 results for pay comic strips. Discover the best "Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 02,
2014
Tags choosing, competition (psychology), start up, pay half, stay or go
Transcript
Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.
Friday October 03,
2014
Tags rehab, work ethic, workaholic, laundry
Transcript
Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.
Saturday October 04,
2014
Tags pretending, rehab, victim, work ethic, workaholic, effect health, dramatic, blaming victim
Transcript
Wally: I'm pretending to be a workaholic so the company will pay for rehab. Waaaa!!! I am working too hard! It is starting to affect my health! Boss: That seemed a bit dramatic. Wally: Here we go with blaming the victim.
Saturday October 25,
2014
Tags graphic design, graphic designers, outsourcing, new employee, subcontract, starngers, internet, 5% salary, undermind, technology
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.
Wednesday November 19,
2014
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%
Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!
Thursday December 18,
2014
Engineers Built Everything That Matters
Tags engineers, importance, marketing, wages, pay scale, modern civilization, need both, marketing guy, business, money
Transcript
The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.
Sunday January 04,
2015
Tags arguing, personal business, work ethic, work load, work call, payment, time management, handled arguement, bodd, employee, repremand, money
Transcript
Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.
Tuesday February 10,
2015
Elon Musk Fears Ai
Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind
Transcript
Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?
Tuesday March 03,
2015
Tall People Earn More
Tags anger, discrimination, fairness, height, money, salary, wages, Women, tall people, short people, performance reviews, height accordingly, female workers
Transcript
CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.


