Pointy Hair Comic Strips - Page 26
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278 Results for Pointy Hair
View 251 - 260 results for pointy hair comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Hair" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 05,
2014
Tags inventions, artificial intelligence, software, phb test, hide, html5, talking, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: My artificial intelligence software passes the PHB test. That means I can hide it behind a curtain and people won't know if they're talking to a computer or a pointy-haired boss. Computer, what is HTML5? Computer: Beats me. Boss: I was going to say that!
Monday July 07,
2014
Tags computers & peripherals, frustration, inventions, no sense, standard turing test, upset, company strategy
Transcript
Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.
Sunday November 16,
2014
Tags criticism, frankness, goals, honesty, managers, root cause, bad parenting, pointy headed boos, underlings, rapidly evolving nature, talented employee, boss life story
Transcript
Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.
Wednesday December 31,
2014
Dilbert Does Online Dating
Tags dating, internet dating, low standards, online dating, triple threat, six feet tall, hair, height, job, business, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags business ethics, ceo, evil, executives, robot, sell robots, manipulate owners, titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Saturday September 19,
2015
Haircut Illuminati
Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success
Transcript
Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.
Monday September 21,
2015
Hairdresser Illuminati
Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control
Transcript
The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.
Thursday November 05,
2015
Carol Overschedules
Tags useless, laziness, work ethic, ignorance, trying, effort, club
Transcript
Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.
Monday May 09,
2016
Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance
Tuesday November 01,
2016
Alice Gives Approval
Tags deal, support, negotiations
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.


