Product Comic Strips - Page 26
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Character
385 Results for Product
View 251 - 260 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 03,
2010
Tags company lawyer, recall, poisonous spines, shake hands, quality assurance, arms out
Transcript
Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."
Saturday September 04,
2010
Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands
Transcript
The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."
Tuesday September 21,
2010
Tags new product, front, meeting, block of wood, cell phone, network, cool, business, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."
Wednesday September 22,
2010
Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."
Thursday September 23,
2010
Tags pitchman, new product, salesman, block of wood, machine, rays, reality distortion, stand on stool, consumers
Transcript
Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"
Friday October 01,
2010
Tags marketing, meeting, big mouth, open, stupid, product, guess, business
Transcript
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."
Thursday October 21,
2010
Tuesday November 30,
2010
Tags meeting, buy, product, quote, angry, die, yell, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can you give me a quote by next week?" Coworker says, "Your demeanor tells me that you will never guy our product. You only want the quote as a point reference." Dilbert says, "Or maybe I'm giving you false hope because it's less awkward to end the meeting that way." Coworker says, "Die! Die! Die!"
Thursday January 13,
2011
Tags anger, engineers, lust, pon farr cycle, irreversible urge, mating season, engineer mating season, spawn, prodcut, unnecessary steps, rarely happens, specifications, vague
Transcript
Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"
Monday January 17,
2011
Tags anger, engineers, honesty, beginning of decline, salted note, good idea, why don't we format, social product
Transcript
The Boss says, "I have a great idea! Why don't we make our product social?" Dilbert says, "Because when you start to understand a concept, it marks the beginning of its decline." Dilbert says, "On a related note, it's never a good idea to ask an engineer a question in the 'why don't we' format."

