Asok Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

963 Results for Asok

View 251 - 260 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, frustration, matrix comparing features, skin in game, bang head, cause extra work, value of time, ninja economics

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, hardware, robotic arms, hold coffee cups, industry changing products

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, employees, employee of month, october 1929, room to grow, past date, past month, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, hypocrisy, open door policy, suggestions, not importnat, extra work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, honesty, meetings, honest opinions, plan, hold back, feedback, monkey eats, fermented fruit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want your honest opinions on my plan. Don't hold back anything. Asok: Does he mean that? Wally: Why don't you find out? Asok: Yes, I have some feedback. Your plan reminds me of what happens when a monkey eats a fermented fruit. He's all - ooh - ooh - ooh and then he falls out of the tree. ... Is that how he looks when he hears honesty? Wally: Beats me. I've never tried it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, laziness, writing materials, pile, busget numbers, print again, think murder

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, questioning, best plan, ignorant nusinace, meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags announcements, meetings, communicate, other departments, criticize, war on knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, intergenerational relations, grandpa box, phones, tablets, laptop, text the 90s

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fraternization, friendship, laziness, wing man, for laziness, productivity retardant, high priority, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: And then I need you to... Asok: Excuse me. Wally is needed elsewhere to do something unspecified that has an implied high priority. Carol: Seriously? You have a wingman for laziness? Wally: I think of him as a productivity retardant.