Best Decison Comic Strips - Page 26

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289 Results for Best Decison

View 251 - 260 results for best decison comic strips. Discover the best "Best Decison" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #executive man, #business meeting, #assistants

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An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #Promotion, #Dogbert, #executive man, #management

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Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #neuroscience

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Ratbert, did you know that your brain automatically coordinates millions of activities every second?" Dogbert says, "Imagine if it got just a little bit confused - all those neurons firing randomly . . ." Ratbert waves his arms and legs uncontrollably. Dogbert says, "You don't add much to a conversation, but you're easily the best listener I've ever met." Ratbert screams as he falls off the hassock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #big business, #trial, #jury, #verdict, #judge, #Dogbert

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The foreman of the jury reads a document and says, "The jury has reached a decision in the case of 'Dogbert vs. A Big Corporation.'" The man continues, "We award Dogbert fifty million dollars because we hate big companies and we like little dogs with glasses." The man continues, "And we award a Maytag dryer to juror Mindy for being 'Best Dressed.'" The judge covers his eyes and thinks, "I hate my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ted, #alice, #award, #co workers

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The Boss and Dilbert stand in front of a room of people. The Boss says, "The award for best attendance goes to Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank the people who made this possible." Dilbert continues, "First, I'd like to thank the women in the company who have rejected me over the years . . ." Dilbert continues, "Because of them I have no germ-riddled children to infect me." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my co-workers for never telling me about important meetings, thus keeping my germ exposure to a minimum." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my boss for never assigning a project important enough to induce stress and weaken my immune system." Dilbert continues, "But what makes this award special is that each of you had to get sick in order for me to win." Dilbert arrives at home and says, "When you have your health, you have everything, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "No, you also have to gloat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

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Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #romance, #friends, #porpoise, #reverse, #psychology, #unflattering, #references, #mammals

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table. Dilbert says, "I'm not looking for romance. No, I just want to be friends." The woman asks, "That's all? But why?" Dilbert replies, "Because you have a snout like a porpoise." Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "When you use reverse psychology, it's best to leave out unflattering references to other mammals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #wimpy, #management, #techniques, #empowerment, #quality, #memo, #shock, #subjective, #electric

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The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #special, #washing, #instructions, #fold, #garment, #star, #cotton, #swathes, #launder, #glacier, #water, #detergent, #glandular, #australian, #nik-nik, #bug, #alive, #delicate, #quick

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Dilbert carries a load of dirty clothes to the washing machine. Dilbert looks at the label on a shirt collar. He reads, "Special washing instructions." Dilbert reads, "Fold the garment in a five-point star and wrap in cotton swathes . . ." Dilbert reads, "Launder only in pure glacier water heated to 98 degrees . . ." Dilbert reads, "For detergent, use only the glandular secretion of the Australian nik-nik bug . . ." Dilbert reads, "In fact, I'm so delicate that you're hurting me right now. Ouch! Ouch! Let me go! Help!" Dilbert stuffs the shirt into the machine." Dilbert says, "The best I can do is to make it quick." A scream comes from the machine.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #sales, #department, #boss, #new, #hurt, #customers, #new guy, #despise, #account, #i hate you

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A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."