Change Master Comic Strips - Page 26

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268 Results for Change Master

View 251 - 260 results for change master comic strips. Discover the best "Change Master" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilemma, #company, #discouraging, #drug, #use, #constitutional, #rights, #straightest, #path, #mud, #rationalize

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Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "It's an ethical dilemma . . . I support my company's goal of discouraging drug use, but the random drug testing policy is a violation of my constitutional rights." Dilbert continues, "I'll get fired if I refuse the test. What is the ethical thing to do?" Dogbert replies, "Hack into their computer and change your Boss's test results." Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Sometimes the straightest path is through the mud." Dogbert says, "Good, rationalize it with an obtuse metaphor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sneeze, #happen, #name, #leave, #town

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes violently. Dilbert's sneeze blew the toupee off the man next to him and knocked a woman out of her seat. Dilbert thinks, "I can pretend that didn't happen, or change my name and leave town."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #trapped, #dog's, #body, #operation, #electrolysis, #costs

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Dilbert and a dog in a dress sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "That is absolutely the LAST blind date." Judy says, ". . . Then I realized . . ." Judy continues, "I'm a woman trapped in a dog's body . . . So, now I'm saving for a species change operation." Dilbert asks, "Is it expensive?" Judy replies, "Well, you can imagine the electrolysis costs alone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bob, #gadget, #custodian, #hyperelectronic, #induction, #transmutant, #geoplasmic, #collectimizer, #soap, #dispenser

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Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "That's all Dilbert left you in his will? A gadget?" Dogbert replies, "I'm just the custodian." Bob says, "Maybe it's some kind of hyper-electronic induction transmutant geoplasmic nodal collectimizer." Dogbert replies, "Maybe . . . But I'm guessing bathroom soap dispenser." Bob picks up the device and asks, "Can I change my guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #reflect, #create, #erasing, #accounting, #budget, #bradley, #troll, #witch, #budget report

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The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #accounting, #engineer, #breathed, #air, #irreversible, #bad, #attitude, #part, #training, #bradley

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Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #engineer, #lightbulb, #jokes, #personal, #steamroller, #equator

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Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and asks, "Want to hear some engineer jokes?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dogbert says, "Six: one to hold the bulb and five to argue about how to rotate it on this side of the equator." Dogbert giggles. Dogbert says, "What's the difference between a fungus and an engineer? A fungus can grow on you . . ." He laughs. Dogbert asks, "What do you call a dog that's been run over by a steamroller?" Dilbert says, "Spot." Dogbert leaves the room and says, "We were having such a good time until he started getting personal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #police officer, #doctor fishlips, #alien, #escaped, #convict, #operation, #surgery

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Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison disappeared after your appendectomy. Police Officer: "Tiny tom," is a master of escape. We think he crawled into your torso during the operation. Dilbert: That's stupid. How would he get out? Police Officer: Ever see the movie, "Alien"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option

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Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #prudish, #stupid, #hairball, #wimp, #class, #blessing

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Dilbert and a woman sit on the couch. The woman asks, "Would you like to hold hands?" Dilbert replies, "We'd better not . . . My dog is around here someplace." The woman asks, "What's your dog got to do with anything?" Dilbert replies, "He's a bit prudish. He won't allow it in his house." The woman replies, "HIS house? Ha ha ha! He's YOUR dog! YOU're the master!" The woman continues laughing and says, "Your dog is just a stupid hairball! And you must be a first-class wimp!" She laughs. Dogbert pulls a hose through the window and stands next to the couch holding the nozzle. Dilbert says to him, "With my blessings."