Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert

View 251 - 260 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Does Online Dating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Does Online Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, internet dating, low standards, online dating, triple threat, six feet tall, hair, height, job, business, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, decision, decision-making, inventions, success, thinking, tube clothes, eliminate decisions, mark zuckerberg, gray t-short, success secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinosaurs, flip phones, smart phones, technology, what is cool?, windows xp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Launch Beta In Two Months

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Launch Beta In Two Months - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags credibility, lying, truth, beta version, laughing, problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And I plan to launch the beta version in two months. Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: I have a credibility problem. Dogbert: And I should believe that?

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10% - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!

Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, ceos, death, emotions, executives, bad news, publicity stunt, margins, died, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, death, deception, split duites, boring meetings, publicity stunts, business scheme, 3people, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

Dogbert The Third Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business tactics, ceos, executives, co ceo, third ceo, tiebreaker, fired, disagreement, new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accessories, busniess casual, clothing, dorks, fashion, new dress code, powerless, boring, sexually irrelevant, badeg, asexual trespasser

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is our new company dress code. We call it "Business Dorky." Dogbert: I like it because it makes you look powerless, boring, and sexually irrelevant. Dilbert: They make me wear this badge so I don't look like an asexual trespasser. Dogbert: Accessories make the outfit.