Entire Net Worth Comic Strips - Page 26

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266 Results for Entire Net Worth

View 251 - 260 results for entire net worth comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Net Worth" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sweat, #bugs, #alone, #pen, #mind, #weird, #entire, #body, #shaved, #levitate

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The caption says, "When you're alone, you start thinking weird thoughts." Dilbert sits in his desk chair thinking, "Do bugs sweat?" The caption says, "The longer you're alone, the weirder it gets." Dilbert holds a pen in his palm and thinks, "I can levitate this pen with my mind." The caption says, "Don't stay alone too long." Dilbert sits in his house thinking, "How would it feel if I shaved my entire body."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gravity, #invention, #half, #net, #land, #money, #jump, #ledge, #gross

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Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #museum, #amazing, #engineer, #computer, #induced, #trance, #ten, #cents, #dollar

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Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #encyclopaedia, #brittanica, #hair, #museum, #wrote, #bibile

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Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "I've written the entire Encyclopaedia Brittanica on this hair." Dogbert continues, "I'll open a museum and charge people to see it." Dilbert says, "It's kind of hard to prove you wrote all that on a hair." Dogbert points to a hair says, "I'll swear on this Bible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dead, #targets, #power-hungry, #managers, #career, #shooting

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #construction, #garage, #paper, #clips, #gold, #watch, #birthdays

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Dilbert sits at a banquet table with three other people. The Boss stands at the podium and says, "Thank you all for coming to Irv Klepfurd's retirement celebration." The Boss continues, "Many of you know that Irv has been pilfering office supplies for his entire career." The Boss continues, "In fact, he's only retiring now because he finished construction on his garage made entirely of paper clips." The Boss continues, "This bill is for $87,000 of personal phone calls made from the office." The Boss continues, "Instead of a gold watch, I'm going to write the current time on this yellow sticky pad and slap it on his forehead." The Boss slaps Irv. The Boss continues, "Now . . . I understand we have some birthdays today . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #geraldo, #cult, #television, #live television, #Dogbert, #talking

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Geraldo Rivera holds a microphone and says, "Today on 'Geraldo' our entire show is about a dog who started his own cult!" Dogbert says into the microphone, "Actually, Geraldo, I don't know what you're talking about." Geraldo faces the camera and smiles. Dogbert says, "I love live television."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming

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Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #diaries, #kirk cameron fan club, #kirk cameron, #satisfying

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You know, many great men kept diaries." Dogbert says, "Not to mention the entire Kirk Cameron fan club." Dilbert sits at a desk and writes, "Monday: Woke up. Went to work. Came home. Ate. Watched tv and went to bed." Dilbert closes the diary and tells Dogbert, "Well, this was both therapeutic and satisfying." Dogbert says, "Sometimes it's good to bare your soul like that." Dilbert sits at the desk and writes, "Tuesday: See 'Monday.'" He thinks, "Who the heck is Kirk Cameron?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."