Half Full Glass Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

323 Results for Half Full Glass

View 251 - 260 results for half full glass comic strips. Discover the best "Half Full Glass" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trap set, #dogbert sniffs, #thief found, #set up, #decoy lunch, #synthetic female hormones, #wally boobs, #caught, #busted, #theif

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Exhibit 'A' is my empty lunch bag, last seen full." "Only the people in this room had the motive and the opportunity." "Inspector Dogbert will investigate." Dogbert: "Sniff. You were in the mail room with Willy the mail boy all morning. You are innocent." "Sort of." "Sniff. I give you a 'C+' for hygiene but you did not take the lunch." "Sniff. Bologna...potato chips...carrot sticks...ha!!!" "This is the thief who took the decoy lunch...which we laced with synthetic female hormones!" Wally: "You can't prove anything!" Dogbert: "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber

View Transcript

Transcript

"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #market research, #customers age, #proposal study, #funding, #no answers, #half above, #half below

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My market research indicates that 50 % of your customers are above the median age. But the shocking discovery was that 50 % were below the median age. The Boss: what percent are exactly the median age? Dogbert: Im proposing to study that impasse two.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #smart like you, #rat, #garbageman, #special gift, #creativity, #talent, #ability to love

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I wish I were smart like you. Then Id get some respect. GarbageMAN: We're all smart in different ways, Your special gift may be creativity, a talent , or even the ability to love. Ratbert: I can burp my cheeks full ...urp. Garbage Man: Id go with that If I were you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer program, #spelled wrong, #colons, #collen, #ass

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I saw the code for your computer program yesterday." "It looked easy. It's just a bunch of typing. And half the words were spelled wrong." "And don't get me started about your over-use of colons." Dilbert: "They remind me of you, sir."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #difficult, #cooperate, #project success, #head is full, #birdseed, #pants glued, #soap carving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broadcasted, #dsn, #identify, #jobs, #movie, #take over, #takeover

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on you'll be working full time on our takeover of DSN." "You must also identify any unnecessary jobs that can be cut after the takeover." "That would be the people who worked on the take-over." "Ooh, I broadcasted that move."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big money, #deal, #dog, #Dogbert, #executive, #mercury dimes, #negotiate, #static network, #stock, #static for sale, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer

View Transcript

Transcript

"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?