Isn't Feasible Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

310 Results for Isn't Feasible

View 251 - 260 results for isn't feasible comic strips. Discover the best "Isn't Feasible" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #over internet, #credit card number, #insecure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "I would never buy something over the internet. I'd hate to have my credit card number floating around out there." Dilbert hands his credit card to the waitress as he says, "There are a lot of unscrupulous people on the net." The caption says, "Later." Dilbert concludes, ". . . Bottom line, it just isn't common sense." The waitress returns wearing a fur coat and hands Dilbert's credit card back to him.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #payroll computer, #gie raise, #Dogbert, #not ethical, #five percent raise, #quality of work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at Dilbert's desk working on the computer and Dilbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "It isn't ethical to hack into the payroll computer and give me a raise, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "Not ethical?? Is it ethical for them to make you work seventy hours a week and only pay you for forty??!!" Dilbert asks, "How about a five percent raise?" Dogbert replies, "Well, there is the issue of the quality of your work . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #network connection, #technology have not, #global economy, #french fry, #electronic mail, #snork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Alice, did you hear that Dilbert's network connection isn't working?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Wally continues, "He is what we call a technology 'have not.' His competitiveness in the global economy will last as long as this french fry." Alice says, "So sad." As Wally gulps the french fry, Alice says to Dilbert, "After lunch, I'm going to use something called 'electronic mail.' You can watch if you promise not to touch anything." Dilbert looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #password, #not working, #help request line, #password doesn't work, #email message, #stinking network, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peers into a co-worker's cubicle and says, "My password for the network isn't working." The man says, "Fill out a help request online." Dilbert says, "I can't get online because my password doesn't work . . ." The man says, "Send me an e-mail message about it." Dilbert shouts angrily, "I can't send e-mail because I can't get on the stinkin' network!!!" The man says, "Geez, you're worthless . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #take a contract, #please review, #copies, #original, #cannot approve, #obstruction of dogs, #fits any situation, #absurd logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have to take a contract to our company lawyer. I need your help, Dogbert." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in front of a lawyer's desk. Dilbert says, "Please review this contract. I need it today." The attorney replies, "Give me all of your copies plus the original then go away." Dogbert screams, "Don't do it! He plans to lose them!!" Dilbert says, "Good dog!" The lawyer says, "Dang!" The lawyer looks at the contract and says, "I can't approve this. Somebody might sue us for no good reason." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's true with any contract. Isn't he using absurd logic?" Dogbert replies, "Let's find out." Dogbert stands on his chair and shouts, "Approve the contract now or I'll sue you for obstruction of dogs!!" The lawyer says, "Okay okay." Dilbert says, "Wow." Dogbert says, "The great thing about absurd logic is that it fits any situation."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #brittle writer, #thelma and louise, #bad drivers, #not offended, #three stooges, #all documentraies, #Men

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #two week retreat, #mountains, #management retreat, #four star hotle, #no room, #brag, #employees, #glib, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Have fun working. I'm off to the two-week management retreat in the mountains." The Boss continues, "It's so sad you can't come. I guess there isn't room at the four-star hotel." As he flees from books and folders being hurled at him, the Boss thinks, "Now I know why it's called a retreat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #policy, #employ best, #technical professionals, #industry average, #bright, #clueless, #feel sorry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our policy is to employ only the BEST technical professionals." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Isn't it also our policy to base salaries on the 'industry AVERAGE?'" The Boss answers, "Right. We like them bright but clueless." Wally says, "I feel sorry for people like that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #turn the house, #gambling casino, #illeagl, #tiny republic, #dogbertland, #seed from repressive, #morning, #voting, #green card

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert spreads construction plans on the table and says to Dilbert, "I'm planning to turn the house into a gambling casino." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that illegal?" Dogbert replies, "Not in the tiny republic of Dogbertland. I seceded from the repressive homeland this morning." Dilbert says, "I don't remember voting on that." Dogbert hands him a card and says, "Here's your green card."