Operating System Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

263 Results for Operating System

View 251 - 260 results for operating system comic strips. Discover the best "Operating System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #jury, #judicial system, #defense, #attorney, #obnoxious, #death, #fetching, #black, #muumuu, #honor

View Transcript

Transcript

The judge asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict?" Dogbert stands and replies, "Yes, your honor. We find the defense attorney poorly dressed and obnoxious. We sentence him to death." The judge says, "I don't think you can do that." Dogbert continues, "Furthermore, we find that your honor looks fetching in a black muumuu."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #evidence, #jury, #deliberation, #system, #coin

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Jury deliberation." Dilbert, Dogbert and the other members of the jury sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I'll be the jury foreman, since the rest of you are losers." Dogbert asks, "Did anybody listen to the boring parts with the evidence?" Dogbert says, "And nobody as a coin?! Geez, what's this system coming to??"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ambush reporter, #Fun, #steroids, #massive, #size, #radio, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks across a field holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "I never realized that being an 'ambush reporter' could be so much fun." Dogbert approaches a football player and asks, "Is it true you used steroids to gain your massive size?" The man says, "No! I swear! I just use this little AM radio. I don't even own a steroid system!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonian, #capitalism, #incentive, #twelve hourse, #rich, #tv shows, #millionaire's, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #industrialist, #japanese, #maid, #promoted, #ww2

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Dorgy, why are you dressed like a maid? Dorgy: Dogbert is teaching me capitalism. Today I am lowly maid. But with hard work I will be promoted to job as major industrialist. Right? Apparently there is flaw in system. Dogbert: Yeah, but we blame it on the Japanese,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #donald trump, #polar bear, #soviet union, #soviet-exchange, #trump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert meets the soviet exchange program dog. Dogbert: He seems harmless. Polar Bear: Greetings, comrade Dogbert. I have come to learn capitalist system from dog's perspective. ...and your god is this Donald Trump? Dogbert: I don't think it's official yet.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #operating, #manual, #buying, #flowers, #opening, #doors, #money, #woman, #Women, #dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Would you like to see my operating manual?" Dilbert asks, "Operating manual?" The woman explains, "It's an aid to men. It covers everything from 'buying flowers' to 'opening doors.'" Dilbert reads the manual and says, "Looks like you're due to have your jewelry rotated." The woman replies, "Every thirty days. Saves money in the long run."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Frank, #eddy, #self-esteem, #damaged, #immune system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the sidewalk. A man walking in the other direction says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Hi, Frank." The man says, "My name is Eddy, not Frank." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Right. Sorry, Eddy." Dilbert thinks, "This is so embarrassing." Eddy says, "Forgetting somebody's name is the worst insult in the world." Eddy continues, "Now my self-esteem has been damaged. My job performance will drop accordingly, and I'll be fired." Eddy shivers and says, "The stress is starting to affect my immune system. I'm getting a cold." Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "I'm Dogbert. Nice to meet you, Frank."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #security system, #pool, #catapult, #invention, #fate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert taps on the doorstep with a spade. He tells Dogbert, "My new security system is now installed." Dogbert asks, "How's it work?" Dilbert explains, "I buried a giant spring under the welcome mat to catapult any undesirables into the Wilsey's pool three blocks from here." Dilbert continues, "You just tap that little button on the floor there . . ." The caption says, "Time stands still as Dogbert ponders the gift that fate has given him." Dogbert stares at the launch button while Dilbert stands on the welcome mat. Dogbert reaches for the button and says, "I'm pretty sure the look on his face will be worth whatever minor guilt I feel over this."