Sit Down Comic Strips - Page 26
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1000 Results for Sit Down
View 251 - 260 results for sit down comic strips. Discover the best "Sit Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 21,
2003
Tags gaga gift money, upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements promotions, collecting money, bag of moeny, flush, toilet involved, more effcient, sectional sofa
Transcript
Carol: "I'm collecting money for miscellaneous gag gifts." "We've got upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements, promotions, blah, blah, blah." "I'm collecting all of the gag gift money in advance." "Then I'll take the bag of money and flush it down the toilet." "That will be the gag. It's funny because a toilet is involved." "So you can either give me $100 now or I'll be back twenty times at $5 a pop." "You can't resist the siren call of a more efficient process. Give it up, engineer-boy!" "Hello, sectional sofa!"
Sunday December 14,
2003
Tags boss, engineering manager, graphic artist, graphics guy upset, logo, mocks him, puts down idea, thinks idea, threatned, graphics dept.
Transcript
The Boss: Its totally Brilliant. Boss: I must show this to our creative department. I designed a new logo for the company, see what you can do with it. Graphics Artist: well, well, well an engineering manager becomes and artist. Apparently I wasted my time getting an masters degree in graphic arts and design. AlI I needed was a dull pencil and scrap of paper. Art is not that easy, you arrogant pile of perfectly symmetrical crud!! The Boss: what if the logo is inside a rectangle? Artist: SOB
Saturday December 06,
2003
Tags dating, party, phone number, information, email, voicemail, home phone, offcie, work email, personal website, too much info, skeleton, relationships
Transcript
"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."
Sunday November 09,
2003
Tags company t shirt, not for temps, contractors, vendors, not size, downsized, leftover garage rags, morale
Transcript
The Boss: Everyone gets a company shirt! Its good for morale. The Boss: opps! Not for temps. None for contractors. Not for vendors. Nothing in your size. Not for people who might get down sized on Friday. I'lluse the leftovers as garage rags. CatBert: Did the shorts improve morale? The Boss: Sure did! I feel great!
Saturday October 11,
2003
Tags top down budget, bottom up budget, ignorance, cruelty, lying, optimism, cancel, wasted hour
Transcript
Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"
Thursday October 09,
2003
Tags management retreat, hawaii, how many employees, down size, pay of trip, against helicopter ride
Transcript
The boss: "The management retreat in Hawaii was productive." "We calculated how many employees we needed to downsize to pay for the trip." Ted: "Don't blame me, Ted. I voted against the third helicopter ride."
Sunday August 10,
2003
Tags charging hours to project, one meeting, one hour, extensive preparation, evaluated, 57 hours, sat quiet, charging
Transcript
"Wally, why have you been charging all of your hours to my project?" "I invited you to one meeting. It lasted one hour." "Do you think I would go to a meeting without extensive preparation?" "Okay.. that's another hour." "How many more do you need explained?" "Fifty-eight." "After the meeting, I sat quietly and evaluated what everyone said. That took fity-seven hours." "Ha! You're still an hour short. Explain THAT!" "Do you mind if I sit quietly and think about that question for a while?"
Friday June 27,
2003
Tags record loss, press release, ceo stepped down, 100 million, tenure, shareholders, bought stock
Transcript
Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"
Monday June 23,
2003
Tags value of merger, large number, marketing department, frooglepoopillion
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"
Sunday June 22,
2003
Tags performance review, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, trash talking, lunch, objectives, glowing email, 7 stages, psychology
Transcript
Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."


