Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Time Travel

View 251 - 260 results for time travel comic strips. Discover the best "Time Travel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, diversification, investment, obliviousness, stock market, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, job, laziness, strategic thinker, strategy, work ethic, worker bee, attend meetings, strategic, no work, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Can I create my own job? I hear people do that. They figure out what they are good at and then they create a job around it. I'm more of a strategic thinker than a worker bee. My job could be to attend meetings and say strategic things. And, of course, I would have no time to respond to email because I'd be busy being strategic. Boss: It feels as if you want a job that doesn't involve work. Wally: Would you trust a strategic thinker who can't solve his own problems?

Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?

Get Off Wally's Back!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Get Off Wally's Back! - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, deadlines, laziness, mean, work ethic, yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Wally, did you finish the... Wally: Get off my back! Why can't you just trust me to do my work on time?!?! Coworker: Sorry... Dilbert: Who were you yelling at? Wally: Beats me. It didn't seem important.

Showering In Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothes, clothing, efficiency, engineers, laundry, nerd, tube clothes, shower, shower drain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arguing, personal business, work ethic, work load, work call, payment, time management, handled arguement, bodd, employee, repremand, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, low standards, meeting people, parents, mother, efficiency, ebola, shake hands, Family, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Incompetent Employee Budget Only

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Incompetent Employee Budget Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, catch-22, incompetence, funds, lose funds, 75% competent, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.

Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finances, financial advisor, investing, knowledge, money, personal finance

View Transcript

Transcript

Financial Advisor. Dilbert: You kept me waiting in the lobby for five minutes. So I used that time to learn everything that matters in the field of personal investing. Did you know that you don't know much? Financial Advisor: I did not know that.

Wally Uses Misdirection

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Uses Misdirection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, criticism, work ethic, misguided, whip to death, intestines, nap time, elaborate cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?