40 Years Comic Strips - Page 26

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265 Results for 40 Years

View 251 - 260 results for 40 years comic strips. Discover the best "40 Years" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cryogenic Investment Firm

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Cryogenic Investment Firm  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people

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Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology

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Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Death By Ninjas Is Best

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Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

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Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Wife Starts A Business

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Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

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Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

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Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #Wally, #Dilbert, #coffee, #self-inflicted, #injuries, #interns

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Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.

When Will Ted By Done

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When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range

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The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

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Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

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Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Tweaking Variables

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Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

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Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

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Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.