Bad Winner Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

693 Results for Bad Winner

View 251 - 260 results for bad winner comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Winner" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dick The Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick The Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #hire, #nemesis, #social media, #bad, #idea, #doubt, #science, #workplace

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired dick to be your workplace nemesis. you might know his work from social media. dilbert: this feels like a bad idea. dick: doubt science much? duhrr.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dual core processors, #brain, #disconcerting, #email answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #shoulder holder, #jealousy is attractive, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #courage, #electronic mail, #thinking, #greatest idea ever, #email

View Transcript

Transcript

Bad decision 1 Dilbert: This is the greatest idea ever. Why does it look so dumb when I put it in email? I'll sort it out later.