Change Subject Comic Strips - Page 26

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285 Results for Change Subject

View 251 - 260 results for change subject comic strips. Discover the best "Change Subject" comics from Dilbert.com.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline

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Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

Estimating Finish Times

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Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

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Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Ceo Fixes His Problem

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Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology

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CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Bad Optics

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Bad Optics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearances, #optics, #logic, #deception

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Boss: I don't like the optics of your plan. Dilbert: It's the only plan that can work. Should I change it to something that looks good but won't work? Boss: Excellent idea. You might have more management potential than I though.

Add Feature To Legacy System

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Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

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Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Wally Volunteers For Vr Project

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Wally Volunteers For Vr Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #nap, #sleeping, #work, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

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Wally: I'd like to work on the VR headset project on top of my other duties. Boss: That's weird. You've never volunteered for extra work before. Wally: People change. Boss: Or not.

Vr Cubicle

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Vr Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #office, #cubicle, #fantasy, #illusion

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Boss: We're going to use our VR technology to take over the cubicle business. Write a program that makes users feel as if they are working in a fabric-covered box. Dilbert: Maybe we should think outside the box. Boss: Stop resisting change.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #motivation, #projects

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Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.