Contort Face Comic Strips - Page 26

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327 Results for Contort Face

View 251 - 260 results for contort face comic strips. Discover the best "Contort Face" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Took Notes

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Wally Took Notes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, forward, hungry, insults, intelligence, managers & supervisors, meeting, notes, pandemic, release, schedule, snack, technology, version, covid

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staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.

People Believe Anything

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People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, business, people, believe, anything, whisper, campaign, rival, management, dumb, covid, pandemic

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all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.

Lack Of Social Contact

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Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, pandemic, technology, social, contact, best, week, covid, cope

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Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

You Can Say No

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You Can Say No - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, insubordination, stupid, test, video, sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: did you know you can just refuse to do things that are stupid, and it will be okay? tina: i don't believe that. dilbert: it's true! i've been testing it all week. tina: take a video next time you do it so i can see how. dilbert: no, that's stupid.

Dilbert Tells The Odds

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Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, estimate, managers & supervisors, miscommunication, odds, technology, wrong

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dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Boss Is White Supremacist

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Boss Is White Supremacist   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, covid, denial, envy, managers & supervisors, members, pandemic, staff, system, white supremacist

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catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.

Boss Follows Racists On Twitter

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 Boss Follows Racists On Twitter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid, follow, managers & supervisors, pandemic, proof, racists, reports, staff, twitter, white supremacist

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ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.

Who Started The Rumor

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Who Started The Rumor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accused, business, covid, fired, job, managers & supervisors, motive, office workers, pandemic, racism, replacement, rumor, unjust, white supremacist

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boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

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Boss Wins In Arbitration  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accused, arbitration, bribery, business, covid, employment, fired, job, pandemic, racism, rotten, system, white supremacist, Win

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boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.