Degree In Engineering Comic Strips - Page 26

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307 Results for Degree In Engineering

View 251 - 260 results for degree in engineering comic strips. Discover the best "Degree In Engineering" comics from Dilbert.com.

Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime

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Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, criminals, user interface, software, lower tax rate, engineering

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Dilbert: Our tests show that people can't figure out how to use our software. And yet we still sell it. How are we different from criminals? Boss: Our tax rate is lower.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

Embellishing Resume At Work

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Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, self-promotion, embellishment, managers

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Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, simplicity, engineers, complication, complicated, coffee, mug, overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

Drones Attack Dilbert

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Drones Attack Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, engineers, drone, drones, government contract, contractor, retaliation, engineering

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G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality, work ethic, shortcut, laziness, defective, awards, engineer, engineering

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CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

How It Feels To Be Useless

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How It Feels To Be Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication

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Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd

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Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.