Dogcarts Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 26

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266 Results for Dogcarts Tech Support

View 251 - 260 results for dogcarts tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Dogcarts Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

Press Release

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Press Release - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, boss, unethical, scientists, press, question, overkill

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Dilbert: The unethical scientist we hired to support our product claims started today. Boss: Write a press release that says whatever we want him to say and put his name on it. Dilbert: Should we show it to him? Boss: That feels like overkill.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

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Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, boss, conscience, rethink, quit, raise, going along, don't, ruin

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Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

Centers Of Excellence

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Centers Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lie, managers & supervisors, office, excellence

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the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.

The New Consultant

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The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, success

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the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

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Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, class, training, sensitivity, offend, kill, hour

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dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.

Tina Enters Coma

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Tina Enters Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read

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tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

Reading Faces

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Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, corrupt, communists, technology, proposal, reading faces

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co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Three Dogberts

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Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book

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dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.

Doubled Income

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Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask

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boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.

Protesters Surround Building

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Protesters Surround Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags face mask, fire, lobby, managers & supervisors, office building, protest, protesters, sign, support, business

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dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.