Eliminate Sick Days Comic Strips - Page 26

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255 Results for Eliminate Sick Days

View 251 - 255 results for eliminate sick days comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Sick Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hallucinations At Meetings

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Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

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in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Food Poisoning

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Food Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #health, #Food, #poison, #work, #potluck

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boss: everyone who went to the potluck got food poisoning. i need you to do all their work while they are out sick. dilbert: were there leftovers? boss: there might be dilbert: can i have a plate?

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.