Fierce Paper Jam Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

351 Results for Fierce Paper Jam

View 251 - 260 results for fierce paper jam comic strips. Discover the best "Fierce Paper Jam" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags snails, offcie, slime trail, hand lotion, second sign, addicted, office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Tina the Tech Writer. A piece of paper sticks to his hand. He says, "I think we have snails in the office." Dilbert holds the sheet of paper up and it appears to have something on it. Dilbert says, "There's a slime trail on everything." Dilbert exits and Tina stands on her desk chair to reach a giant pump labelled "Hand Lotion." Tina thinks, "That might be the second sign that I'm addicted to hand lotion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags call center jobs, angry people, telephone headset, near mouths, operator, faulty mic, ignore problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits between Dilbert and the Boss with a piece of paper in front of him. He announces, "There aren't enough friendly people to fill our call center jobs." Catbert turns to the Boss and explains, "All we can find are angry people who refuse to put their telephone headset mircrophones near their mouths." A call center operator, with her telephone headset microphone turned completely away from her head, says, "No, I'm sure the problem is on your end."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incredulous ed, budget numbers, request, coworker, budget manager, hard time, over reacts, ed, new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contract states, nick names, mottos, political preferences, new contract, fact, skippy, communist now

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags start on monday, service industry, space -time, contiuum, calendar, no mondays

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a table reviewing a sheet of paper with a contractor. The contractor says, "Here's my estimate. I'll start the job on Monday." The contractor continues, "When I say 'Monday,' I'm referring to the service industry's space-time continuum." The contractor holds out a calendar and says, "I'm not supposed to show you this, but check out the calendar." Dilbert looks and says, "No Mondays."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work indoors, rain, can't control weather, roof guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a chair reading the paper. A worker approaches him and says, "I got the roof off. I'll be back next week to finish." Dilbert follows him to the door and says, "What if it rains?" The worker replies, "Then I'll work indoors." Dilbert follows him to his truck. He says, "But my house will be ruined." The worker says, "I can't control the weather."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags explain charge, budget season, trolls

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "Ask the trolls in accounting to explain this charge." Dilbert responds, "Gaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't make me talk to those trolls during budget season!" A headless man walks out of the accounting department. The troll standing in the doorway says, "Next."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting trolls, explination, budget season, spit on data, 95% spit, finance trolls, underground, beneath the earth

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Accounting Trolls. Dilbert hands the trolls a piece of paper and says, "I need an explanation for these numbers." A troll responds, "This is budget season so I will spit on your data and send you away." Dilbert says, "That doesn't sound too bad." While one troll accumulates his spit, the other replies, "Our bodies are 95% made of spit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags written objectives, hidden objectives, smothered with defectiveness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, you have failed to achieve any of your written objectives." The Boss continues, "But by pure chance you achieved all of my hidden objectives." The Boss hands Wally a piece of paper and says, "Here's another project I need smothered with defectiveness." Wally responds, "I'm all over it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags padded cost estimates, co workers, cost etsimates, inaccurate data, half full glass

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."