Hate Guts Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

259 Results for Hate Guts

View 251 - 259 results for hate guts comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Guts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virtual Reality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virtual Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #days, #virtual, #trained, #hospital, #designer, #bed, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: After spending three great days in virtual reality, I accidentally trained myself to hate actual reality. Wally: What if this reality is actually another virtual reality, and you're really in a hospital bed somewhere? Dilbert: What kind of designer would make a reality with you in it? Wally: A lazy one.

Boss Leads All The Way

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Documents On Chairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

My Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #employment, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.

Tina Likes To Hum

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Working On Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working On Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.

Dilbert Hates Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.