Highly Trained Engineer Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

327 Results for Highly Trained Engineer

View 251 - 260 results for highly trained engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Highly Trained Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6

View Transcript

Transcript

Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job opening, #research and development, #escape the mismanaged, #futility, #current job, #boss has similar idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a job opening for an engineer in research and development!" "It's a chance to escape the mismanaged futility of my current job and live the dream!" The Boss: Hey, there's an opening for a new manager of research and development!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand why technical writers get paid less than engineers." "If you were capable of understanding that sort of thing, you'd be an engineer." "This took an ugly turn." "And your dress looks like a tube sock with aspirations."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online (web) news, #news manufaturer, #online media, #misleading headlines, #snarky bow, #news naturally, #engineer, #news magic, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #ceo, #lawyer, #salespeople, #psychopathy, #disembowle, #rhetorical, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #engineers, #wages, #start up, #million each, #under paid, #money, #salray, #paid workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.