Managers Comic Strips - Page 26
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596 Results for Managers
View 251 - 260 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 14,
2018
Pill For Boss Conversations
Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane
Transcript
Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.
Saturday April 21,
2018
Show More Initiative
Tags managers, boss, criticism, encouragement, initiative, engagement
Transcript
Boss: You fool! That web page is not designed the way I would have done it! And I never would have explained it this way! Lastly, I want you to show more initiative. Dilbert: Are you still here?
Friday May 25,
2018
Bossercize
Tags exercise, personal trainer, fitness, bossercise, criticism, managers, health
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.
Saturday May 26,
2018
Spittle
Saturday June 02,
2018
Monster Puts People In Boxes
Saturday July 07,
2018
Can't Remember Wally's Project
Tags language, jargon, obliviousness, bluff, managers
Transcript
Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Sunday November 11,
2018
Tags boss, cost, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, ladder, waste
Transcript
Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.
Wednesday October 31,
2018
Boss Leads All The Way
Tags business, encouragement, irritation, managers & supervisors, trick, deadline
Transcript
Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.
Thursday November 01,
2018
Exceeding Expectations
Tags employees, employment, job, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!


