Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 26
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 251 - 260 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 08,
2019
Spelling Crypto Wrong
Tags argument, boss, frustrated, learning, managers & supervisors, office workers, spelling, words
Transcript
Dilbert: You spelled "crypto" wrong. Boss: No, I didn't. Dilbert: You spelled it "c-r-i-p-t-o". Boss: So? Dilbert: There is no "I" in crypto. Boss: That's how I learned to spell it. Dilbert: You learned it wrong. No one else spells it that way. Boss: Now you're criticizing me for being an inovator? Dilbert: It's not innovation! It's a mistake! Why can't you admit you are wrong?! Boss: Why can't you?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday September 15,
2019
Wally Wears Headphones
Tags employees, irritation, office workers, avoidance, hear, headphones
Transcript
Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.
Monday August 19,
2019
Wally Is New Pet Employee
Tags boss, business ethics, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.
Tuesday August 20,
2019
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status
Tags boss, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe
Transcript
Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags lying, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe, salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Thursday August 22,
2019
Agreeing With The Boss
Tags boss, climate change, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, agree
Transcript
Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!
Saturday August 24,
2019
Nervous About Presentation
Tags Advice, managers & supervisors, nervous, office workers, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.
Monday August 26,
2019
Teambuilding Celebration
Tags celebration, employees, office workers, parties, rules
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.
Tuesday August 27,
2019
Skipping Teambuilding
Tags boss, celebration, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers, parties, sarcasm, team
Transcript
Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.
Wednesday August 28,
2019
Inexperienced Employee Advice
Tags criticism, employees, irritation, office workers, sarcasm, experience, arrogant
Transcript
Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

