Promotion For Intern Comic Strips - Page 26
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259 Results for Promotion For Intern
View 251 - 259 results for promotion for intern comic strips. Discover the best "Promotion For Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 04,
2015
El Gato Leadership
Tags #kissing up, #brown nosing, #delegate, #wisdom, #idiocy, #leadership
Transcript
CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!
Friday November 04,
2016
Asok Approves
Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance
Transcript
Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.
Thursday March 23,
2017
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever
Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness
Transcript
Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.
Sunday June 11,
2017
Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock
Transcript
Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.
Tuesday July 18,
2017
Ted Promoted To Software Architect
Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Saturday October 28,
2017
Robot Is Not A Droid
Tuesday April 30,
2019
Welcome Baskets
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #racism, #new employee
Transcript
alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.
Sunday January 19,
2020
Master Engineer
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism
Transcript
boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.
Tuesday January 19,
2021
Boss Traveling Through Hot Spots
Tags #airlines, #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #booking, #flight, #airline, #coronavirus, #die, #Promotion, #greedy, #demise, #reward
Transcript
boss: it seems you are booking all of my connecting flights in coronavirus hot spots. you do realize that if i die, you don't get promoted to my job, right? carol: i'm not greedy. your demise would be reward enough.