Question Motives Comic Strips - Page 26

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294 Results for Question Motives

View 251 - 260 results for question motives comic strips. Discover the best "Question Motives" comics from Dilbert.com.

It Takes More Than Luck

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It Takes More Than Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, intelligence, privilege, nepotism, obliviousness, confusion

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CEO: Asok, it takes more than luck to be successful. You also have to be smart. Asok: How did you select your level of intelligence before birth? CEO: I don't understand the question. Asok: Now I am getting mixed messages.

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Two Choices For A Project

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Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power

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Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managing, work ethic, laziness, deception, trick

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Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

Wally Builds An Mvp Version

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Wally Builds An Mvp Version - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, technology, fake, deception

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Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?

Human Intelligence

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Human Intelligence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, humans, arguing, human nature, intelligence, deception

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Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, communication, response, confusion, honesty, overshare

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Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Followship Training

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Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, following, lazy, work ethic, motivation

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Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Days Off Versus More Pay

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Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, wages, trick question, vacation, compensation, money

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Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, mumbling, speech, understanding

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Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.