Service Business Comic Strips - Page 26
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 251 - 260 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 10,
2014
Tags electronic mail, obliviousness, business plan, email about plan, rambling and disjointed, no understanding of problem, proposed solution, havent sen email
Transcript
Boss: Did you see my email about your business plan? Dilbert: Was it a rambling and disjointed email that showed no understanding of the problem or the proposed solution? Boss: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then apparently I haven't seen it.
Wednesday August 20,
2014
Tags language, lawyers, simple business deal, best work, backyard
Transcript
Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer
Thursday August 21,
2014
Tags employee fringe benefits, google, free food, bus service, massages, smart, ambitious people, earplugs
Transcript
Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.
Friday August 22,
2014
Tags employee fringe benefits, google, free bus service, telecommuniting
Transcript
Boss: I hired a guy who worked at Google because he said he was driven. Dilbert: Because they have free bus service? Has he shown up for work yet? Boss: I thought he was telecommuting.
Saturday October 11,
2014
Tags business casual, clothing, dorks, dress code, fashion, business dorky, unstylish, tan colored, dumb name, new order
Transcript
Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.
Friday October 24,
2014
Tags business school, context, lists, ranking, rankings, list, votes, schools
Transcript
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
Thursday November 27,
2014
Planning To Lose
Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page
Transcript
Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.
Friday July 03,
2015
Dilbert Chooses Life
Tags off the grid, emergency, hiding, help, cell phone, service, connection, nature, allergy, reaction, decision, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.
Wednesday September 16,
2015
Tina Gost Writes About Success
Tags managers & supervisors, humility, insult, humble, ghostwriter, biography, Advice, business
Transcript
Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.
Monday September 05,
2016
Electric Car Business
Tags electric car, scam
Transcript
Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?

