boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company.
dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility.
boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say.
dilbert: why do you trust them over me?
boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief.
dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility!
boss: why would they lie to me?
dilbert: same reason you lie to me.
boss: okay, that makes sense.
voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late.
dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew?
voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you.