Under Paid Comic Strips - Page 26

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

318 Results for Under Paid

View 251 - 260 results for under paid comic strips. Discover the best "Under Paid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #lawsuit, #represent in lawsuit, #one condition, #do everything, #without hesitation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #report, #strategy, #boss' job, #labels, #managing

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #unholy alliance, #plan, #meeting room, #love, #cheese, #happy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I propose an unholy alliance." Carol says, "You have my attention." Wally says, "Reserve every meeting room under my name for the year. That way you won't need to do any scheduling, and I won't need to attend any meetings." Wally says, "Don't panic; that strange feeling is you falling in love with me." Carol says, "It feels like I'm eating cheese!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #explaining, #plan, #delivery, #stuck, #arrow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is always a problem."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #complaining, #value, #recession, #ridiculous, #proud, #competing

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #communicating, #stress, #infuriating, #impossible, #answering, #convoluted

View Transcript

Transcript

Morgan: The man with no communication skills Dilbert says, "Did you get results from the stress tests yet?" Morgan says, "Stress tests have to be performed under controlled conditions." Dilbert says, "Has anyone ever explained to you the yes-no form of questions?" Morgan says, "Is it my turn to talk?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."