Hired Dogcart Consulting Comic Strips - Page 27
280 Results for Hired Dogcart Consulting
View 261 - 270 results for hired dogcart consulting comic strips. Discover the best "Hired Dogcart Consulting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 30, 1994's comic on:
"Dogbert the Publisher" "Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs." "Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too." "For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."
Share May 14, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert: Here's my final consulting report on your company. Ive listed all the deadweight employees who should be fired. The Boss: This is the company directory. Ratbert: Finding that was a huge time saver.
Share May 13, 1994's comic on:
"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."
Share May 11, 1994's comic on:
"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."
Share May 09, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.
Share April 21, 1994's comic on:
CEO: We'll give you sixty billion for the "dogcart static network" half f that will be stock in our company. Dogbert: Who would want stock in a company that would pay city billion for static? CEO: Not us thats the point. Dogbert: Id like it all in mercury dimes.
Share March 26, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!
Share September 17, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk next to a large binder. Dogbert says, "Here's my consulting report on your company." Dogbert says, "I had no insights so I bulked it up by adding witty analogies." The Boss reads, "His head was like a hollow putty ball attacked by two pointy dust bunnies." Dogbert asks, "Vivid, isn't it?"
Share September 15, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert is hired as a blame consultant. Dogbert: The company's problems are your fault, Willy. You blame the senior executives, but it is you- the individual employee-who must build innovative new products and pioneer new markets. Willy: But I'm just a word processor I was hired to type. Dogbert: I've seen your typing. That stinks too.