Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 27
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701 Results for Lying Down
View 261 - 270 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 05,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, Frank, eddy, self-esteem, damaged, immune system
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the sidewalk. A man walking in the other direction says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Hi, Frank." The man says, "My name is Eddy, not Frank." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Right. Sorry, Eddy." Dilbert thinks, "This is so embarrassing." Eddy says, "Forgetting somebody's name is the worst insult in the world." Eddy continues, "Now my self-esteem has been damaged. My job performance will drop accordingly, and I'll be fired." Eddy shivers and says, "The stress is starting to affect my immune system. I'm getting a cold." Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "I'm Dogbert. Nice to meet you, Frank."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday November 12,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, cold, medicine, dilbert's cold, television, news
Transcript
Dilbert sneezes on Dogbert. Dogbert sniffles and says, "Great. Now I've got your cold." Dogbert leaves the room and says, "I'll get some medicine from the store." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and sneezes. A man walking by says, "Hi, Dogbert." The man sneezes. Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Dilbert's cold." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the chair watching television. The newscaster says, ". . . And seven nations are paralyzed by what is being called 'Dilbert's cold.'" Dilbert says, "Gosh. I think I might have that, too."
Sunday May 06,
1990
Tags Dogbert, hospital, directions, drive, driving, car, automobile, lying, sarcasm
Transcript
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."
Sunday September 09,
1990
Tags Dilbert, arm, asleep, arm chair, Dogbert, tongue, body
Transcript
Dilbert lies on the couch. He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My foot is asleep." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better hop around . . . Oh no, my arm is asleep too." Dilbert thinks, "Ouch, ouch!! I'll have to hop and wave my arm." Dogbert watches Dilbert hopping and waving his arms. Dilbert speaks to Dogbert and his words are slurred. He thinks, "My tongue is asleep." Dilbert runs into the chair. Dilbert lies face down on the chair. He says, "Aaahhh . . . It's okay now, Dogbert. Everything is back to normal." Dilbert adds, "Except my nose is asleep and I feel a sneeze coming on."
Sunday January 06,
1991
Tags Dilbert, the boss, dead, targets, power-hungry, managers, career, shooting
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."
Sunday January 13,
1991
Tags dog, Dilbert, donald trump, ugly, single, male, associated, avoid, eye, contact, horror, maiden, sacrifice, drew, straws, marry
Transcript
The caption says, "It is the most feared and hated creature on earth." The caption says, "Not a dinosaur." Bob the Dinosaur growls. The caption says, "Not a rabid dog." Dogbert asks, "Rabid?" The caption says, "Not Donald Trump." Donald Trump wears a tuxedo. The caption says, "It is the 'ugly single male.'" Dilbert holds his arms out. The caption says, "Other males fear being associated with him." Dilbert says, "Hi, guys!" Two men run away from him. The caption says, "Women avoid eye contact and flee in horror." Dilbert asks, "Anybody free for lunch?" One woman puts her head down and covers her face. Another runs away. The caption says, "Only a maiden sacrifice can end the horror." A woman tells Dilbert, "We drew straws; I have to marry you."
Sunday January 20,
1991
Tags bob, dinosaur, Dilbert, politicians, elected, political issues, electoral college, truth, vote, opposite
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob the Dinosaur enters the room and says, "Question . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Bob asks, "Why do politicians lie?" Dogbert replies, "To get elected." Bob asks, "Oh, because people believe them?" Dogbert replies, "No, nobody believes them." Bob asks, "Why do they keep lying if nobody believes them?" Dogbert replies, "People wouldn't vote for them if they told the truth." Bob asks, "Okay, so people like lies and dislike the truth?" Dogbert replies, "No, just the opposite." Bob screams and runs away. Dogbert thinks, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Sunday February 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, bird, alive, car, resist, old, smoe, blob, little, brain
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."
Sunday June 02,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, karate, real, life, male, daydream, sequence, tought, nobody, else
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the chair watching tv. On the television program, there is a whack and someone grunts. Dogbert says, "On television you can knock a person out with one karate chop." Dogbert continues, "Just think how useful that could be in real life." The caption says, "Male daydream sequence." Dilbert stands in a line thinking, "This movie line is too long." Dogbert karate chops the man in front of him. Dogbert knocks down the next man in line. The first person in line screams as Dogbert knocks him down. Dogbert stands at the ticket booth. He thinks, "I'm glad nobody else thought of that first."
Sunday June 23,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, humilate, bob, dinosaur, humming
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the counter wearing an apron. He reads a recipe and thinks, "Add one jar of spaghetti sauce . . ." Dilbert struggles with the lid on the can. Dilbert lies on the counter trying to open the jar. Dogbert says, "Let me try to humiliate you by opening it easily." Dogbert struggles with the lid and thinks, "This definitely would have worked in 'Family Circus.'" Dogbert walks down the hall and says, "I'll see if Bob can open it." Dogbert hands the jar to Bob the Dinosaur. Bob says, "No problem for a mighty dinosaur." Bob smashes the lid against his forehead. Dilbert scrapes the sauce off Bob's forehead and into the bowl. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Will you STOP humming 'My Way.'"

