2003 Comic Strips - Page 27
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Character
Wednesday November 05,
2003
Tags too busy, bottleneck, document, desk, office
Transcript
"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 06,
2003
Tags new guy, new hire, bottleneck, bill, titanium
Transcript
Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR
Friday November 07,
2003
Tags lazy rich, new product, rebate, 1 million, banking on forgetting, great bargain, one person
Transcript
Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."
Saturday November 08,
2003
Tags nutty boss, halluciantions, sadistic nut, having problems, unhealthy boss
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm having problems at home, so I'll be taking it out on you today." "I'll begin by hallucinating that you said something bad. Then I'll yell at you for saying it." "I AM NOT A SADISTIC NUT!!!" Dilbert: "If I go to my cubicle, can you hallucinate that I'm here?"
Monday November 10,
2003
Tags ted, forward to ted, email, solved problems, project, being rude, remove from project
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.
Tuesday November 11,
2003
Tags boss stalker, wait, offcie, unscheduled, suck up, phone calls end, still out there
Transcript
Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."
Wednesday November 12,
2003
Tags director of profit making, behind greatness, acting like king, wants award, making spectavle
Transcript
The Boss: Later w'll be joined by the director of the only division thats making a profit. Behold my greatness! Bathe ye all in the pleasure of my general proximity!! I can only stay if you give me an award.
Thursday November 13,
2003
Tags balance them, not trash, mistaken, took as tarsh, important files
Transcript
The Boss: Where can I put my most important files so I won't lose them? I'll balance them on top of the trash can so the janitor knows its not part of the actual trash. Garbageman: These items must be whats most urgently in need of discardation.
Friday November 14,
2003
Tags make changes, skills database, know as guy, avoid work, too much work
Transcript
Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."
Saturday November 15,
2003
Tags produce breakthrough, meeting, coach me, higher perfromance, no hope for progress, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My project has no progress and no hope for progress. I scheduled a meeting is I can fantasize that it will produce a breakthrough. I recommend that we have a meeting next week so you can fantasize that your'll coach me to higher levels of performance. The Boss: Sounds good.

