Bad Input Comic Strips - Page 27

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

713 Results for Bad Input

View 261 - 270 results for bad input comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #times are tough, #optimism, #find good in bad, #wild pigs, #pigs are cute

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Alice, I know that times are tough. But you need to show more optimism." The Boss: "Try to find the good thing in any bad situation." "Our entire sales force has been eaten by wild pigs." Alice: "Pigs are cute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

View Transcript

Transcript

Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tuesday, #need by tuesday, #agreement, #yelling now, #unreliable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I absolutely need your input by Tuesday." Ted: "Ok." Dilbert: "Considering that you're massively unreliable, I'd like to save time by yelling at you now." "YOU SAID YOU'D DO IT BY TUESDAY!!!" Ted: "Umm.. I was too busy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too busy, #bottleneck, #document, #desk, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nutty boss, #halluciantions, #sadistic nut, #having problems, #unhealthy boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I'm having problems at home, so I'll be taking it out on you today." "I'll begin by hallucinating that you said something bad. Then I'll yell at you for saying it." "I AM NOT A SADISTIC NUT!!!" Dilbert: "If I go to my cubicle, can you hallucinate that I'm here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #downsized candidate, #alice glad, #boss thanks wally, #ride to church, #on good side

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #foot of death, #doctor, #exam room, #dont use, #Advice, #health, #carpal syndrome, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insincere optimism, #artificial sense of urgency, #delusion, #work for challenge, #not money, #good ideas, #sound bad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #evil director, #severance package, #spittle, #laugh, #purr, #bad package, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources, #project, #credibility, #contradiction, #ruining credibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "And that's why we can't put any more resources on your project." The Boss: "Sure we can." Dilbert: "Gaaaa!!! Why do you keep ruining my credibility?!!!" The Boss: "Good cop, bad cop." Dilbert: "If there is a god, please KILL ME NOW!!!" The Boss: "Gum?"