Own Email Comic Strips - Page 27

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586 Results for Own Email

View 261 - 270 results for own email comic strips. Discover the best "Own Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no frills airline, #$23 run to destinations, #crazy stuff, #saliva

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Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock investing, #valuable data, #project on schedule, #refines data, #ceo, #accountants, #nanotaechnology, #discount brokerage, #investors, #secret society, #donald trumps

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dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email storage, #server, #document

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The Boss: You've exceeded your e-mail storage allocation on the server again. Alice: Thats because I od real work as opposed to walking around with a piece of paper. The boss: Its not a piece of paper: its a document! Alice: I can't hear you over the ousted of my real work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tight budget, #colorful paper clips, #incoming email, #paid per hour, #watch, #meeting, #berate employee, #business

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"Yesterday, someone in this room gave me a document with a yellow paper clip." "I know that multicolored paper clips look 'pretty.'" "But I remind you that we are on a tight budget!" "We can't be throwing away all our money on colorful paper clips." "Do I make myself clear?!!" "I salvaged that paper clip from incoming mail." "Now excuse me while I stare at my watch and wonder how much you're paid per hour." "I'm sure you've done inefficient things that I don't know about." "Two minutes is... $5."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typos in email, #confused, #point, #more professional, #clear, #efficient meassages, #gossipy, #cruitical, #time waster, #scoffing sound

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"Did you see all of the typos in Dilbert's e-mail?" "Were you confused about its meaning?" "No, that's not the point." "Then I don't know what your point is." "I think he should be more professional. That's all." "So, instead of sending clear, efficient messages, he should follow your example and..." "...Be a gossipy, critical, time-waster who values appearance over function?" "Are you done hurting me now?" "I'm saving a scoffing sound for when you turn to leave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flaming #$%!!?, #email personlaoty, #really time preson, #miserable clump, #decaying compost

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"Tina, why did you call me a flaming #%!!?" "I'm so sorry." "That was my e-mail personality. My real-time personality is kind and gentle." "Oh. Okay." "Never speak to me again, you miserable clump of decaying compost!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small business, #need to be paid, #small man, #truthful, #painfully honest

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I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created work, #email him, #end the madness, #meeting with boss, #pulling plugs, #request

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Dilbert: Carol I need ten minutes on the pointy - haired boss schedule. Carol: I don't let him have meetings anymore. Dilbert: what? Carol: Everytime he had a meeting it just created more work for me. Carol: It was always Carol, get me a file and Carol schedule another meeting. Obviously I had to put an end to the madness. Dilbert: I guess ic ould email him. Carol: You could try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #voice mailbox, #spam filter, #rejects email, #ear wax, #grid

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Wally: "My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." The Boss: "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"