Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 27
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 261 - 270 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 20,
2014
Tags engineers, joking, practical jokes, sex appeal, sexiness, honor, practical joke, evil genius, cleverly, concealed, true identity, sit on rocks
Transcript
Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.
Tuesday September 02,
2014
Tags adequate, avoid contact, dance, pride, sing, you are lame, rhythm, happy
Transcript
Dilbert: Now, I give you the dance of the adequate. I am adequate, yes, I am. Oooh, so adequate. As long as I avoid contact with others. Dogbert: You are so lame!
Saturday August 30,
2014
Tags executives, how-to, snobbishness, book on success, hard work, wise decisions, being lucky, lazy and dumb
Transcript
CEO: I need you to co-author a book on success with me. The goal is to make readers believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions. So instead of hating me for being lucky, they will hate themselves for being lazy and dumb. Dogbert: And for buying your book?
Thursday August 21,
2014
Tags employee fringe benefits, google, free food, bus service, massages, smart, ambitious people, earplugs
Transcript
Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.
Thursday August 14,
2014
Tags happiness, optimism, workday, negativity, perfect day, self control, underestimated, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.
Monday August 04,
2014
Tags pessimism, start up idea, pivoting, optimisim, enthusiam, doomed
Transcript
Dilbert: I have an idea for a start-up. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: Maybe the first idea won't work, but I'll keep pivoting until something does. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: The most important thing is that I need to keep my optimism and enthusiasm high. Dogbert: You're doomed.
Saturday August 02,
2014
Tags choosing, competition (psychology), start up, pay half, stay or go
Transcript
Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.
Monday July 14,
2014
Tags money, rich people, being rich, income inequality, happy, networth, thousand times, 800 times, net worth
Transcript
Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!
Sunday June 29,
2014
Tags computers & peripherals, cruelty, tech supprt, highly trained engineer, electrical engineer, most proabable, reinstalled software, rebooted, default, request
Transcript
Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, wide transformation, compettetive, solutions, pay the most, consultants, recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.


