High Tech Device Comic Strips - Page 27
372 Results for High Tech Device
View 261 - 270 results for high tech device comic strips. Discover the best "High Tech Device" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 30, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a desk with a computer on it. Dogbert sits atop the computer. Dilbert says, "It's my job to integrate the bad technology that our idiot boss bought with the good technology we already own. Your advice?" Dogbert waves his arms in the air, "Throw away the bad technology. Goof off until the next planned upgrade of the good technology. Tell your boss the improvements are a result of his brilliant buying decision." Dilbert says, "Wow. That's almost pure evil." Dogbert says, "You're welcome."
Share June 10, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"
Share May 25, 1997's comic on:
Asok, Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "Lately I've been feeling discouraged about my job." Alice says, "You should talk to our pointy-haired boss." Wally says, "That'll cheer you up." Asok says, "Maybe you're right. All I need is a little pep talk from our leader." He leaves the room. Alice, Dilbert and Wally laugh. Asok sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You think YOU're discouraged . . ." The Boss continues, "I've been stuck in this dead-end job for years, grinding away, day after day." The Boss continues, "And all I have to show for it is high blood pressure and worthless stock options." Asok looks frightened. Dilbert and Wally stand behind Asok's desk. Dilbert says, "It's so gratifying to watch them grow up." Asok says into the telephone, "I need the number for Doctor Kevorkian."
Share May 14, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the backrest holding a device. Dogbert says, "My invention can detect human stupidity." Dogbert explains, "It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." Dilbert asks, "Then what does it do?" Dogbert asks, "Why would it need to do anything else?"
Share May 10, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We did an industry survey to see how your salaries compared to the average." The Boss continues, "We didn't get the numbers we hoped for, so we broadened the definition of 'our industry.'" Wally says, "I'm so happy to be in the industry of 'high technology, textile workers, teen-agers, and dead people.'" Dilbert says, "I feel overpaid."
Share April 21, 1997's comic on:
A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"
Share March 27, 1997's comic on:
Asok and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "When I was your age, we had things called 'promotions' and 'raises.'" Alice continues, "These days you can only get ahead by leaving the company for a year then coming back as a high-level manager." Asok says, "So the theory must be that anyone who would return to this company is . . ." Alice answers, "A moron. Correct."
Share March 22, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table looking at a device. Dilbert says, "I've invented a quantum computer, capable of interacting with matter from other universes to solve complex equations." Dogbert says, "According to chaos theory, your tiny change to another universe will shift its destiny, possibly killing every inhabitant." Dilbert replies, "Shift happens." Dogbert says, "Fire it up."
Share March 20, 1997's comic on:
Phil the Ruler of Heck tells Tina, "You are guilty of being a technical writer with an unnatural attraction to an engineer." Phil leads Tina into Heck and says, "It's not a major sin, so you only go to Heck. I'm Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." Phil leads Tina to a desk and says, "Sit down and type, 'I proactively leverage my synergies,' a hundred times." Tina screams, "No-o-o!!!"
Share March 19, 1997's comic on:
Tina and Alice sit at a table. Tina says, "Alice, I think I'm developing a crush on Dilbert." Tina asks, "Is that so wrong?" Alice replies, "Apparently it is." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, appears and says, "I have a report of a tech writer desiring an engineer."