New Product Comic Strips - Page 27
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1000 Results for New Product
View 261 - 270 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 21,
2015
Dilbert And Alice Add Features
Tags inventions, simplicity, engineers, complication, complicated, coffee, mug, overthinking
Transcript
Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday April 20,
2015
Brainstorm With Other Engineers
Tags product design, managers, marketing, simplicity, complication, inventions, ideas, business
Transcript
Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?
Friday April 17,
2015
Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy
Saturday March 28,
2015
Ceo Understands Wally
Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy
Transcript
Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.
Thursday March 26,
2015
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk
Tags jargon, babble, economics, obliviousness, economist, economy, hiring
Transcript
Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.
Tuesday March 24,
2015
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates
Tags product design, product designer, cruelty, update, computer, reboot, operating system, torture, technology
Transcript
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Monday March 23,
2015
Dogbert The Product Designer
Tags design, form, function, product design, product designer, selfishness, portfolio
Transcript
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.
Saturday March 21,
2015
Dogbert The Product Designer
Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!
Friday March 20,
2015
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern
Tags board meeting, change, coffee, demotion, ego, ideas, Promotion, intern, new ideas
Transcript
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Wednesday March 18,
2015
Wall The Company Taint
Tags Promotion, manager, taint, success
Transcript
Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

